Birthday party planner...at 6!

We were talking a few weeks ago, my princess and I, about birthday parties and what theme she would have this year and she asked what about my birthday? I told her I haven't had a birthday party since my 21st and after she regained her breath she then told me that wasn't good! So she began to plan one, with the help of my Mum.
Each birthday since the kids were born, probably years before that too, we would have family over for dinner. I would cook, clean, be put down and during the night have such disparaging comments thrown my way that i'd end up feeling angry and hurt and wishing i never celebrated it at all.
This year is free of the put downs and disparaging comments but the wishing I never had at all feelings are a little harder to shake!
I'm building back up slowly, strongly, day by day but I am not there yet. The thought of people coming to celebrate me and my birthday scares the beejeebuz outta me. I am much much better at giving than receiving and don't feel at all that I'm worth the effort...but....my daughter does. She's six! She made the invites and took the RSVPs. She made a list of foods and games and with my Mums help she's run this whole thing.
Tomorrow is the party. I need to get the house cleaned up for an open house in the morning (no sale last week/ no surprise) and then after swimming we will return and guests will begin to arrive.
A small gathering of the closest people to me. A gathering of those that've got me through the hard times and who I dearly love and cherish. I might even have a glass of wine! (I don't really drink)
My daughter truly is a little Angel.
:)
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