When I took on full time work, having worked out the budget as it stood as a part time worker, and how it would possibly stand as a full time worker it looked like such a good move. And yet...here I am looking at the same situation that I was in..although I guess the positive is that I am able to get my youngest son diagnosed privately at the moment (even if it has taken the meagre amount of money I had left over at the end of every week and drank it down like a person dying of thirst!)
I could choose to give up and be in a funk...or I could just accept that this is life and try to make the most of it. This being a conundrum that I have had more than once over the last two days...for different topics and which I think I actually need to make steps to improve.
My children are right now disapointed little people at being let down (and just when they were beginning to trust again too!) by not being taken out tomorrow. Every fibre of my being wants so desperately to take them out somewhere to make it up to them and take their minds off the heartache, but this week (fortnight/lifetime..) that isn't an option. There is also the problem that I have a HEAP of work to do that simply has to be done (school reports) which I had planned to sit and plow through while they were out...I simply cannot put them off or ignore them. So..instead of going out I will make staying home as interesting and as fun as possible.
1# I am going to devise a treasure hunt to occur in the backyard or in the house. I will draw a map and have them work together to find items and to put together a puzzle of things that they can choose to do as a prize for working it out which will be:
- go on a bike ride
- go for a walk with the dog to the playground
- watch movies with popcorn
All free and all doable.
I will schedule my report writing around them. Pretty much my exciting Saturday night in is now planned ;) as is my early morning wake up on Sunday to try and get through them.
2# the budget is whacked...so instead of worrying about it and all that it doesn't have in substance, I am going to attempt to shift my focus to all it does contain. I am going to make myself feel pride when watching the swimming centre take some of my funds this afternoon rather than feel dread at it's departure because I have worked damn hard to pay for the swimming lessons the children attend. I am going to feel pride that I can pay for my son's social group sessions rather than dread as it too is sythoned from the account. Pride....mmmhmmm
I think a part of this is also a change in focus as to the skills I have to get us through and by on what we have. Actually writing about this and looking at what I do do in a positive way will eventually help me I think. Holidays are coming up soon...expect to see some blog posts about that ;) .
3# things of which I cannot control..... I find myself so cross so often at the actions of another and the impact that it has on the children's and my life. Instead though, I am going to focus on our life and plan to do things and to live it and not worry so much about the other stuff. To finally accept the way it is, not accept the words or even the documents stating behaviours to come, but instead accept from past experience how I really think it will be. To help my children cope with the way things are also and become loving, caring, resilient, strong little people despite it and not the opposite because of it!
4# Give myself a Break! When you're closest friends and the professional you pay to help you all tell you you are a perfectionist who wants to do everything perfectly and beyond 100% and that you need to give yourself a break...that instead, focus on what really needs doing and what you are doing ok, rather than striving for the moon....well eventually it seeps in a little and you find yourself listening. I am going to accept, while we are going through all of this and life is so ridiculously busy that doing ok is good enough.
(and just incase it wasn't clear I am convincing myself as much as you of all the above ;) )
~ Jaak
Saturday 16 June 2012
Saturday 9 June 2012
Who do you think you are?
There are many bloggers who I manage to read in my busy weeks. Their blog update title pops up in the RSS feeder on my phone and I get a little excited and click it the minute I can. One of those people is Eden Riley of Edenland. It is her honesty and beautiful, caring heart that shines through each and every post that keeps me going back. I really feel like I am getting the genuine person...not any bullshit bravado :) .
Today she asked the question, "Who do you think you are?" as part of her fresh horses meme.
It got me thinking....
Who do I think I am?
I am the woman who started this post 30 minutes ago and then stopped when my youngest came in scratching his head, did the baboon nit-finding search in his hair, discovered some and put a treatment through it. You can call me the NIT HATER, because I hate the little things and cannot seem to win the war against them! Between school and childcare I feel like all I am ever doing is eradicating them from hair follicles!
I am a single woman after being in a monogamous (ha ha...my side of it anyway) relationship since the age of 18! I am not quite sure what it even means to be one again. I feel like the package I will be presenting future suitors is far too complex for anyone to consider..and yet I hope within the depths of my heart that that is purely synacism and that one day...one day I might not be single anymore.
I am a single Mum. A Single Mum. One of my good friends referred to me as one to another person the other day and it shocked the shit out of me for a minute. My breath stunted and my eyes widened and then I relaxed once more. It is true, but that was the first time that anyone had said it about me, to me and it sounded foreign. Like a piece of clothing that I hadput on for the first time but didn't quite fit into comfortably yet and then someone had turned the spotlight on me and suddenly the whole room was looking at me..in the outfit...and I had to make a quick decision to go forward confidently or falter..I moved forward confidently...kind of. Being a single Mum is not much different to being the Mum I was before if I am completely honest. I did everything myself, with the kids at nearly all times. In fact since being seperated from my husband I have had more time away from my children than in the whole 8 years I have been a Mum...and that is when they have their time with their Dad! (which has not been a large amount of time I can assure you :( ). Being a single Mum is hard, it means missing out on some things because I cannot just go out (never really could without begging and then having to listen to how lucky I was to be allowed to go while married anyway) whenever I am invited to something without ensuring I have a babysitter first. I make all the decisions (EEK), I do all the work (EEK), I get all the LOVE (awww) . Being a single Mum compared to being a married one in my instance at least, is a hell of a lot of fun :) .
I am a learner of Aspergers daily. My sons (one confirmed, one going through diagnosis now) have Aspergers Syndrome which is on the Autism Spectrum and they are absolutely awesome. No really, I am not just saying that because they are my sons, there is something about the Aspie brain which I find absolutely fantastic. I love being able to share every single day with these gorgeous boys and see the world through their rainbow tinted eyes. They think differently, see things differently and are so much more honest than most of the rest of the world. They call a spade a spade and to do anything differently than this they need to learn why and how and then....then they need to choose to, because they want to, and not because we as a society tell them too. They are sensitive and caring, intrinsic and clever and funny..humourous...and awesome to have around if you want to know the specifics of a past event or how something works ;) . They are also timid and shy at times and the life of the party at others (but only a party that contains people they love and are comfortable with) . I love my boys and their Aspergers. Sure sometimes it is hard, especially when they are over stimulated and result in meltdowns which can be violent and loud and scary and hard to handle...but I am also sometimes envious of the fact that their bodies and brains make them do this to relieve the tension..seems like a lot better alternative than bottling it and then losing it in a crumbling mess as I tend to do ;) . They have made me a better humanitarian.
I am a Mother to a daughter. I have a girl who lights my world with a switch ranging from dimming to shimmering brightness. At just 6 she is articulate and so much older than she seems. She can calm her brothers with her words and her touch (she can also incense them! Well they are her brothers) . When things need doing she will be there beside me doing them. She doles out hugs and kisses when required and similarly asks for them when needed. To watch her dance and sing and love every moment of life is a glimpse into the meaning of life. She feels so much and so deeply that sometimes life is hard for her, slights of friendship can break her heart and tiredness can make everything seem just too much. She is my shadow and reflection. At times infuriating me so much in the stubborness that is my genes shining through. At others making me laugh and smile so much my cheek muscles ache. She is my hard girl, my gorgeous, confident, strong girl. She is 6...a fact I have to constantly remind myself as she is far far older than that and always has been. I am lucky.
Who do I think I am? I am a chameleon. The emotions and actions of others seep in and alter my own until I mirror their feelings, I feel their pain, their joy...I worry far too much and I feel far too deep. I do not watch the news and I limit what I see for what I see and care for effects me deeply...I am too sensitive and too caring and my best friends tell me they see that under a positive rather than negative lamp.
I am a crier. I cry and cry in the car, in the house, in the dark...when noone is looking and noone is there I sob and crawl into the fetal position as the waves and waves of black wash over me and the loneliness seeps right through every fibre of my being until there is nothing but a wide gaping hole of empty. I carry it at times like a cloak, wrapped tight yet letting the biting cold wind shatter through my thin shield of resistance! It holds nothing but torment and pain. My friends tear pieces off with their words and their love. The kisses of my children, the hugs they demand, legs wrapped around waste, little fingers linked and squeezed tightly together, knuckles turned white..never to let go. The shield dissipates a bit. I've spent majority of my life willing tears to come...now I will them to stay far away (they don't listen!).
I am a survivor. I don't think that I am most of the time but then I become aware of the feeling, the sound of the beat as it steadly beats on. gagoong, gagoong, gagoong. It beats and not just in myself but in three other beings. Therefore I see and I know that I am a survivor, for we are here and we are functioning and living and getting on with life despite the changes and the hard times....we are living. Our hearts beat on. I am a survivor.
I am a teacher. I teach children in Primary school to read and write, to cook and to explore, to question and to learn, to laugh and I hug them when they cry. I spend more awake hours with other peoples children than my own and I love them as though they are my own. Their pain hurts me, their fights challenge me, their smiles electrify me. I joke a lot with them, I tease in jest and I compliment in real and we learn.....we learn all day every day and it is fun and wonderful. I have seen one of Earth's greatest wonders...the gleam of learning when it hits for the first time, the spark in a childs eye as they suddenly learn something they have struggled with for so long. It is a miracle, it is wonderful...it is worth more than the pay packet I get paid to see it. I get to read the most amazing stories, ideas, thoughts from our future leaders and I feel privilaged to do so. I get to meet their parents and tell them how much I think they are doing a great job, share their child with them, help them, teach them and learn from them. There isn't much to not love about that. I get to be a different me when with them and I like that me.
I am a friend...a best friend to a group of very very few. Women who inspire me in every action they take and caring thought they share. I am privy to a few of the most wonderful people on Earth and I wont give them up for anything. I listen...I often, so very very very often do not feel good enough to claim them as mine, to be listed as their friend and I so very very very often tell them that they are far too good to tolerate my rollercoaster of a life and take on the role they have in it. They so very very often tell me to shut up when I say so.
I am so many different things. I am me and sometimes I have no idea who that is at all. Sometimes I hate the person that I am. Sometimes I am not good enough for anything that I do, for the people that surround me, for the job I do nor the children I am bringing up...sometimes I am not good enough for this life. The glasses I wear sometimes are incredibly incredibly harsh.
Who do I think I am? I think that I am a woman that is one day going to look back on this time in her life and realise that all the happiness and love and joy that surrounds her at that moment is a result of this turmoil and pain and journey. I think one day...this mess will be a distant memory but the person who I will be will not be possible without going through it. So I will continue to wade through it..one long or super fast minute at a time....
As Dory would say, "Just Keep Swimming...."
Today she asked the question, "Who do you think you are?" as part of her fresh horses meme.
It got me thinking....
Who do I think I am?
I am the woman who started this post 30 minutes ago and then stopped when my youngest came in scratching his head, did the baboon nit-finding search in his hair, discovered some and put a treatment through it. You can call me the NIT HATER, because I hate the little things and cannot seem to win the war against them! Between school and childcare I feel like all I am ever doing is eradicating them from hair follicles!
I am a single woman after being in a monogamous (ha ha...my side of it anyway) relationship since the age of 18! I am not quite sure what it even means to be one again. I feel like the package I will be presenting future suitors is far too complex for anyone to consider..and yet I hope within the depths of my heart that that is purely synacism and that one day...one day I might not be single anymore.
I am a single Mum. A Single Mum. One of my good friends referred to me as one to another person the other day and it shocked the shit out of me for a minute. My breath stunted and my eyes widened and then I relaxed once more. It is true, but that was the first time that anyone had said it about me, to me and it sounded foreign. Like a piece of clothing that I hadput on for the first time but didn't quite fit into comfortably yet and then someone had turned the spotlight on me and suddenly the whole room was looking at me..in the outfit...and I had to make a quick decision to go forward confidently or falter..I moved forward confidently...kind of. Being a single Mum is not much different to being the Mum I was before if I am completely honest. I did everything myself, with the kids at nearly all times. In fact since being seperated from my husband I have had more time away from my children than in the whole 8 years I have been a Mum...and that is when they have their time with their Dad! (which has not been a large amount of time I can assure you :( ). Being a single Mum is hard, it means missing out on some things because I cannot just go out (never really could without begging and then having to listen to how lucky I was to be allowed to go while married anyway) whenever I am invited to something without ensuring I have a babysitter first. I make all the decisions (EEK), I do all the work (EEK), I get all the LOVE (awww) . Being a single Mum compared to being a married one in my instance at least, is a hell of a lot of fun :) .
I am a learner of Aspergers daily. My sons (one confirmed, one going through diagnosis now) have Aspergers Syndrome which is on the Autism Spectrum and they are absolutely awesome. No really, I am not just saying that because they are my sons, there is something about the Aspie brain which I find absolutely fantastic. I love being able to share every single day with these gorgeous boys and see the world through their rainbow tinted eyes. They think differently, see things differently and are so much more honest than most of the rest of the world. They call a spade a spade and to do anything differently than this they need to learn why and how and then....then they need to choose to, because they want to, and not because we as a society tell them too. They are sensitive and caring, intrinsic and clever and funny..humourous...and awesome to have around if you want to know the specifics of a past event or how something works ;) . They are also timid and shy at times and the life of the party at others (but only a party that contains people they love and are comfortable with) . I love my boys and their Aspergers. Sure sometimes it is hard, especially when they are over stimulated and result in meltdowns which can be violent and loud and scary and hard to handle...but I am also sometimes envious of the fact that their bodies and brains make them do this to relieve the tension..seems like a lot better alternative than bottling it and then losing it in a crumbling mess as I tend to do ;) . They have made me a better humanitarian.
I am a Mother to a daughter. I have a girl who lights my world with a switch ranging from dimming to shimmering brightness. At just 6 she is articulate and so much older than she seems. She can calm her brothers with her words and her touch (she can also incense them! Well they are her brothers) . When things need doing she will be there beside me doing them. She doles out hugs and kisses when required and similarly asks for them when needed. To watch her dance and sing and love every moment of life is a glimpse into the meaning of life. She feels so much and so deeply that sometimes life is hard for her, slights of friendship can break her heart and tiredness can make everything seem just too much. She is my shadow and reflection. At times infuriating me so much in the stubborness that is my genes shining through. At others making me laugh and smile so much my cheek muscles ache. She is my hard girl, my gorgeous, confident, strong girl. She is 6...a fact I have to constantly remind myself as she is far far older than that and always has been. I am lucky.
Who do I think I am? I am a chameleon. The emotions and actions of others seep in and alter my own until I mirror their feelings, I feel their pain, their joy...I worry far too much and I feel far too deep. I do not watch the news and I limit what I see for what I see and care for effects me deeply...I am too sensitive and too caring and my best friends tell me they see that under a positive rather than negative lamp.
I am a crier. I cry and cry in the car, in the house, in the dark...when noone is looking and noone is there I sob and crawl into the fetal position as the waves and waves of black wash over me and the loneliness seeps right through every fibre of my being until there is nothing but a wide gaping hole of empty. I carry it at times like a cloak, wrapped tight yet letting the biting cold wind shatter through my thin shield of resistance! It holds nothing but torment and pain. My friends tear pieces off with their words and their love. The kisses of my children, the hugs they demand, legs wrapped around waste, little fingers linked and squeezed tightly together, knuckles turned white..never to let go. The shield dissipates a bit. I've spent majority of my life willing tears to come...now I will them to stay far away (they don't listen!).
I am a survivor. I don't think that I am most of the time but then I become aware of the feeling, the sound of the beat as it steadly beats on. gagoong, gagoong, gagoong. It beats and not just in myself but in three other beings. Therefore I see and I know that I am a survivor, for we are here and we are functioning and living and getting on with life despite the changes and the hard times....we are living. Our hearts beat on. I am a survivor.
I am a teacher. I teach children in Primary school to read and write, to cook and to explore, to question and to learn, to laugh and I hug them when they cry. I spend more awake hours with other peoples children than my own and I love them as though they are my own. Their pain hurts me, their fights challenge me, their smiles electrify me. I joke a lot with them, I tease in jest and I compliment in real and we learn.....we learn all day every day and it is fun and wonderful. I have seen one of Earth's greatest wonders...the gleam of learning when it hits for the first time, the spark in a childs eye as they suddenly learn something they have struggled with for so long. It is a miracle, it is wonderful...it is worth more than the pay packet I get paid to see it. I get to read the most amazing stories, ideas, thoughts from our future leaders and I feel privilaged to do so. I get to meet their parents and tell them how much I think they are doing a great job, share their child with them, help them, teach them and learn from them. There isn't much to not love about that. I get to be a different me when with them and I like that me.
I am a friend...a best friend to a group of very very few. Women who inspire me in every action they take and caring thought they share. I am privy to a few of the most wonderful people on Earth and I wont give them up for anything. I listen...I often, so very very very often do not feel good enough to claim them as mine, to be listed as their friend and I so very very very often tell them that they are far too good to tolerate my rollercoaster of a life and take on the role they have in it. They so very very often tell me to shut up when I say so.
I am so many different things. I am me and sometimes I have no idea who that is at all. Sometimes I hate the person that I am. Sometimes I am not good enough for anything that I do, for the people that surround me, for the job I do nor the children I am bringing up...sometimes I am not good enough for this life. The glasses I wear sometimes are incredibly incredibly harsh.
Who do I think I am? I think that I am a woman that is one day going to look back on this time in her life and realise that all the happiness and love and joy that surrounds her at that moment is a result of this turmoil and pain and journey. I think one day...this mess will be a distant memory but the person who I will be will not be possible without going through it. So I will continue to wade through it..one long or super fast minute at a time....
As Dory would say, "Just Keep Swimming...."
Friday 8 June 2012
Dear Mr Baillieu,
Today this single mother took a day without pay and attended, with two of her three children, a rally in the city of Melbourne.
It was a rally asking you to simply give us what you promised. A chance to provide a better education to the beautiful children of this state. A chance to be paid the same as our colleagues interstate, that doesn't sound like too much to ask does it?
You offered to give us a pay increase...of pittance. It was not that though that got the fire boiling within me Ted. It was the proposed performance bonus and the way in which I will earn it that really made me mad. I will need to earn it through working more than the 38 hour week I am already paid for you say?
I am quite confused and I will be contacting my bank tomorrow as clearly there is something wrong with the figures within my account. For one there is very little money in there at all, but that is not what I will be enquiring about, I will be quering where my overtime has been placed? Where is all the extra money that I should be earning for the time I do at home? For instance, I cannot see reflected in my account the 7 hour day I did last Sunday? Sunday, that would be double time wouldn't it? What about the evenings? surely the after hours time would give me a rate of time and a half? So please add another 9 hours onto Sundays total for the last few nights....
I wonder what the CBA would say to me if I did ring?
I don't get paid for all of that extra work do I Mr Baillieu? It is just a part of the job that I do in order to provide the best education that I can to the students that I teach. It is just a part of the increasing amount of additional work that I need to complete in order to show my accountability to my work.
Mr Baillieu, while I am checking my account I would also like to see where the money is that should be returned to me for things that are not provided towards my special needs son, within the public school system. You see, unfortunately the scoring and assessment for special needs funding within schools is set to be so low on the scale of disability that him, and many others who need additional assistance within the classroom, are not funded to receive it. So every month I spend over $400 on private occaptional therapy, psychologist sessions and social interaction skill groups. Over $400 on a single full time working teachers wage. Think about that for a moment....
Sunk in? As I know that you know how much I earn. It makes quite a dent in my budget as you can imagine.
But, there is hope for me I hear you saying! Because if I just work a little harder and do a little better than all of my colleagues then I might be the lucky one who is chosen at the end of the year to get an incremental rise in my pay and also a bonus! Just me though...not my colleague. Unfortunately she had more children with learning difficulties in her class than me (children who are not funded for the extra assistance they so desperately need!) and she did get a few more EAL (English as an Additional Language) students throughout the year and so by the end of the year her students didn't quite produce results as good as mine did. But it is totally ok, she didn't need a payrise...it isn't as though she didn't work just as hard, if not harder than me throughout the year. Oh and the Principal I adore to chat with and work with, well I wont at all feel resentful towards her at the fact that she chose someone in the Early Years department to get a larger bonus than me. Not at All..it won't cause division within our close knit staff will it Ted?
I think what you are doing right now, the amount that you are giving public schools and what we can provide with that money is totally adequate Mr Baillieu. I mean, I'm not really bothered at all with the fact that I am already buying extra white board markers, blu tack, pencils, rulers and tissues for my classroom because they have run out. Oh and the fact that I am buying my novels and texts for the children to read so that they can be up with the times? No problem, they are tax deductable right? Oh...but please don't forget that I am buying these on my single mum, 'teacher salary'. I know you know how 'high' that annual figure is.
So today Ted, my son who has Aspergers donned his red hood and held on tight to his Mum as we waded through loud and busy sea of teachers into Hisense arena and listened to all you promised and didn't give and voted to try and instil the same values in you as we do every day in our students. Respect, Honesty and Fairness!
My son and daughter marched beside thousands of my colleagues who also, like me are working hard, using their own meagre funds to bring the kind of education to all children in public schools in Victoria that we believe they deserve. Today approximately 30,000 teachers walked off the job giving up a much much needed days pay to show you that we matter. To show you that our kids and their education matters!
Mr Baillieu have you forgotten your roots? were you home schooled? or was it lowely paid teachers such as us that provided you with the literacy and mathematical skills, political knowledge throughout school which saw you end up where you are today?
No matter what profession you are in please do not forget who we are and what role we had in your learning and upbringing. To the parents who, like me, had to find alternative care for their children today, I am sorry for the inconvenience we may have caused you. But I hope that you understand that in the long run we did this for you, for your children.
We really do do this job for the love of it and the passion that we feel towards providing the best type of education possible to your children. It is a hard job which we do for the joy and rewards that come from your children...because we can certainly say at this moment in time, in Victoria, that we are definitely not doing the job for the money! (but we should be paid what we are worth TED...we are worth a heck of a lot more than a measly 2.5% more!)
Regards,
JAAK
It was a rally asking you to simply give us what you promised. A chance to provide a better education to the beautiful children of this state. A chance to be paid the same as our colleagues interstate, that doesn't sound like too much to ask does it?
You offered to give us a pay increase...of pittance. It was not that though that got the fire boiling within me Ted. It was the proposed performance bonus and the way in which I will earn it that really made me mad. I will need to earn it through working more than the 38 hour week I am already paid for you say?
I am quite confused and I will be contacting my bank tomorrow as clearly there is something wrong with the figures within my account. For one there is very little money in there at all, but that is not what I will be enquiring about, I will be quering where my overtime has been placed? Where is all the extra money that I should be earning for the time I do at home? For instance, I cannot see reflected in my account the 7 hour day I did last Sunday? Sunday, that would be double time wouldn't it? What about the evenings? surely the after hours time would give me a rate of time and a half? So please add another 9 hours onto Sundays total for the last few nights....
I wonder what the CBA would say to me if I did ring?
I don't get paid for all of that extra work do I Mr Baillieu? It is just a part of the job that I do in order to provide the best education that I can to the students that I teach. It is just a part of the increasing amount of additional work that I need to complete in order to show my accountability to my work.
Mr Baillieu, while I am checking my account I would also like to see where the money is that should be returned to me for things that are not provided towards my special needs son, within the public school system. You see, unfortunately the scoring and assessment for special needs funding within schools is set to be so low on the scale of disability that him, and many others who need additional assistance within the classroom, are not funded to receive it. So every month I spend over $400 on private occaptional therapy, psychologist sessions and social interaction skill groups. Over $400 on a single full time working teachers wage. Think about that for a moment....
Sunk in? As I know that you know how much I earn. It makes quite a dent in my budget as you can imagine.
But, there is hope for me I hear you saying! Because if I just work a little harder and do a little better than all of my colleagues then I might be the lucky one who is chosen at the end of the year to get an incremental rise in my pay and also a bonus! Just me though...not my colleague. Unfortunately she had more children with learning difficulties in her class than me (children who are not funded for the extra assistance they so desperately need!) and she did get a few more EAL (English as an Additional Language) students throughout the year and so by the end of the year her students didn't quite produce results as good as mine did. But it is totally ok, she didn't need a payrise...it isn't as though she didn't work just as hard, if not harder than me throughout the year. Oh and the Principal I adore to chat with and work with, well I wont at all feel resentful towards her at the fact that she chose someone in the Early Years department to get a larger bonus than me. Not at All..it won't cause division within our close knit staff will it Ted?
I think what you are doing right now, the amount that you are giving public schools and what we can provide with that money is totally adequate Mr Baillieu. I mean, I'm not really bothered at all with the fact that I am already buying extra white board markers, blu tack, pencils, rulers and tissues for my classroom because they have run out. Oh and the fact that I am buying my novels and texts for the children to read so that they can be up with the times? No problem, they are tax deductable right? Oh...but please don't forget that I am buying these on my single mum, 'teacher salary'. I know you know how 'high' that annual figure is.
So today Ted, my son who has Aspergers donned his red hood and held on tight to his Mum as we waded through loud and busy sea of teachers into Hisense arena and listened to all you promised and didn't give and voted to try and instil the same values in you as we do every day in our students. Respect, Honesty and Fairness!
My son and daughter marched beside thousands of my colleagues who also, like me are working hard, using their own meagre funds to bring the kind of education to all children in public schools in Victoria that we believe they deserve. Today approximately 30,000 teachers walked off the job giving up a much much needed days pay to show you that we matter. To show you that our kids and their education matters!
Mr Baillieu have you forgotten your roots? were you home schooled? or was it lowely paid teachers such as us that provided you with the literacy and mathematical skills, political knowledge throughout school which saw you end up where you are today?
No matter what profession you are in please do not forget who we are and what role we had in your learning and upbringing. To the parents who, like me, had to find alternative care for their children today, I am sorry for the inconvenience we may have caused you. But I hope that you understand that in the long run we did this for you, for your children.
We really do do this job for the love of it and the passion that we feel towards providing the best type of education possible to your children. It is a hard job which we do for the joy and rewards that come from your children...because we can certainly say at this moment in time, in Victoria, that we are definitely not doing the job for the money! (but we should be paid what we are worth TED...we are worth a heck of a lot more than a measly 2.5% more!)
Regards,
JAAK
Monday 4 June 2012
The Pants War!...
At times my big boy has obsessions with certain things. It isn't to the extreme of which kids who have Aspergers can get, infact I almost feel left out when discussing such things with the other Aspie Parents at social groups as really I cannot tell what my son will be through his obsessions (whereas one has a son obsessed with atoms, the other with everything to do with trains...my son has an obsession with running up and down making motorbike sounds at times...but I don't think he will become a motorbike in future years ;) ) whereas other parents have their childrens careers all mapped out before their NAPLAN results are even analyised ;) .
No, my son is pretty fickle about such things, he will go through phases where the only book that his eyes will devour is Diary of a Wimpy Kid (onto reading 893875983749837 at the moment!) or he will live and breath lego for a while but really he is pretty easy going.
Or so I thought...
That was until I asked him to wear long pants to school. Or on the weekend...or at any time really.
Long pants?
You would think I asked him to blow his legs up daily, thus is the reaction to the request!
"LONG PANTS? OH COME ON! THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER!!! MY LIFE SUCKS!!!"
(K.....15 years from now!)
"Why do I have to wear long pants? I went on the weather App and it is going to be sunny and only a little bit of rain. My friends are still wearing shorts? If it rains we are inside anyway. I hate wearing long pants. Those pants are too...(choose appropriate one for the second in time he is trying to convince me..) old, long, short, have a hole in the knee, are homemade and everyone can tell!"
It goes on and on and on and on and on and on and......
I'm usually standing at the garage door, looking at the time and thinking about how many times I can actually be late to work before I'm looking at unemployment, when I scream, "OK THEN! WEAR THE SHORTS! JUST GET IN THE CAR!" .
The little shite smirks! I kid you not!
But the other day I said something I will very soon regret! (oh who am I kidding 4 days in and I already am very very seriously regretting it!) I said to him, "Winter starts in a few days, when it starts you will have to wear long pants EVERY SINGLE DAY!"
This morning he didn't protest too much because I didn't give him time. I practically got him up and yanked the pjs off, put the pants and uniform on and carried him to the car. Although he did still manage to say, "Oh WHAT? PANTS! Oh COME ON!". When I told him the outdoor excursion today made them a necessity he even protested at having to attend it! Seriously?
If you think the complaints are kept for just the mornings when he is dressing then you are mistaken.
On the way home in the car tonight I got to listen to him tell me that his legs felt like they were on fire (as he was pulling the pants up to knee height) and that pants suck and there is no logical reason why shorts cannot be worn all throughout the year!
At bed time the negotiations had already begun about tomorrows pants vs shorts battle.
IT IS GOING TO BE A VERRRRRRY LONG WINTER!
Sunday 3 June 2012
How do you do it?
The sentence, "I don't know how you do it!" has been thrown my way by a variety of people lately. Whether it relates to parenting children on the spectrum or working full time or being a single Mum it is being laid before me from many different directions and the only thing I can surmise when receiving it is that I must be giving off the illusion that I have it all under control...or maybe not? ;)
To a certain extent I guess I am pulling off all of the above with a slight modicum of success. Well we are all still alive and relatively sane so I must be doing something right ;) . But to say I am doing it well would be a giant stretch.
I have given myself 20 minutes to write this blog post. 20 minutes is time I cannot afford but I am willing to forgo something else in order to do it. Because you see, right now it is report writing time of year. That time of year when teachers bunker down within their houses, sniffing into eucalyptus tissues and downing cold and flu tablets to try and kill the stress induced viruses that hit their immune systems while scouring through their students books and trying to fit a whole range of different shapes into an exacting square on a standard reporting form. It is stressful and time consuming and not at all pleasant....not pleasant that is until the last one is in the envelope ready to be handed to the parents. At that point a euphoria hits similar to that after giving birth which makes you think that truly it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be and maybe you could even do it again...yeh that. Well that is not the point within the report writing process which I am currently sitting. Right now I am in the sickness fighting, bunkering down phase. Which would be all well and good if I had someone to take over all the other things that still need to be done.
Today I have worked on reports for 3 hours, before having to go and do grocery shopping so that we can all eat this week. I've also done 4 loads of washing which I didn't get to during my incredibly busy week last week and have another 4+ loads to go with drying occuring all through the night. These other tasks have taken approximately 2.5hrs off my report writing time so far. Doesn't sound like much does it? But that time is what I will need to add on to my nightly work next week which starts at approximately 9pm once the last munchkin is snoring in their beds. Although....I had already planned a full week of working after hours so that will essentially mean a couple of 'past midnight' sessions.
I was packing away the shopping and thinking to myself that I really need a stay at home something! Yesterday as I sat and waited for B1 to finish his ASD social session I was reading my book, watching the other two play and also eavesdropping on a conversation occuring between two other parents of students in the group. They were talking about how they had made the choice, due to the therapies etc for one of the parents to be a stay at home Mum or Dad...or work part time if that was not possible. Otherwise, as they said, "it was just not possible to get through everything, especially when you add on the appointments and 'issues at times' that come with ASD" . I am glad that I was reading my book. I have made it my half years resolution to avoid ackward silences and that would have been a doozy of one. Yes, it is very hard (but not impossible I guess) to get through everything with no back up and working full time. Very hard.
As those people stop and look at me, after uttering that they do not know how I do it, waiting patiently for an answer, I always take pause to think about it before I answer, because what is there to say to that except, "I just have to do it". There is no choice,I have to make it work.
So as I stood on the brink of hysteria while putting away the shopping, at the thought of it even being possible to be able to get through these 29 reports and also keep the house running, get to the appointments that are needed after hours and do it with even less support than I normally have for the next three weeks (as my parents take off on a holiday) that exact same thought came into my consciousness. You Just Have TO.
Somehow it will work out. Somehow I will find the time to get these reports written. Somehow the kids will all have lunches in their school bags and clean uniforms on their tooshes. Somehow I will manage to cook dinner each night and fill the car with petrol and do the other ten thousand things that I find myself having to do during the week...because I have to.
And although all those people saying it to me claim that they could never do it, if walking in my shoes. I beg to differ. If you had no choice, you would...and you would even
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