How do you do it?

The sentence, "I don't know how you do it!" has been thrown my way by a variety of people lately. Whether it relates to parenting children on the spectrum or working full time or being a single Mum it is being laid before me from many different directions and the only thing I can surmise when receiving it is that I must be giving off the illusion that I have it all under control...or maybe not? ;)

To a certain extent I guess I am pulling off all of the above with a slight modicum of success. Well we are all still alive and relatively sane so I must be doing something right ;) . But to say I am doing it well would be a giant stretch.

I have given myself 20 minutes to write this blog post. 20 minutes is time I cannot afford but I am willing to forgo something else in order to do it. Because you see, right now it is report writing time of year. That time of year when teachers bunker down within their houses, sniffing into eucalyptus tissues and downing cold and flu tablets to try and kill the stress induced viruses that hit their immune systems while scouring through their students books and trying to fit a whole range of different shapes into an exacting square on a standard reporting form. It is stressful and time consuming and not at all pleasant....not pleasant that is until the last one is in the envelope ready to be handed to the parents. At that point a euphoria hits similar to that after giving birth which makes you think that truly it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be and maybe you could even do it again...yeh that. Well that is not the point within the report writing process which I am currently sitting. Right now I am in the sickness fighting, bunkering down phase. Which would be all well and good if I had someone to take over all the other things that still need to be done.

Today I have worked on reports for 3 hours, before having to go and do grocery shopping so that we can all eat this week. I've also done 4 loads of washing which I didn't get to during my incredibly busy week last week and have another 4+ loads to go with drying occuring all through the night. These other tasks have taken approximately 2.5hrs off my report writing time so far. Doesn't sound like much does it? But that time is what I will need to add on to my nightly work next week which starts at approximately 9pm once the last munchkin is snoring in their beds. Although....I had already planned a full week of working after hours so that will essentially mean a couple of 'past midnight' sessions.

I was packing away the shopping and thinking to myself that I really need a stay at home something! Yesterday as I sat and waited for B1 to finish his ASD social session I was reading my book, watching the other two play and also eavesdropping on a conversation occuring between two other parents of students in the group. They were talking about how they had made the choice, due to the therapies etc for one of the parents to be a stay at home Mum or Dad...or work part time if that was not possible. Otherwise, as they said, "it was just not possible to get through everything, especially when you add on the appointments and 'issues at times' that come with ASD" . I am glad that I was reading my book. I have made it my half years resolution to avoid ackward silences and that would have been a doozy of one. Yes, it is very hard (but not impossible I guess) to get through everything with no back up and working full time. Very hard.

As those people stop and look at me, after uttering that they do not know how I do it, waiting patiently for an answer, I always take pause to think about it before I answer, because what is there to say to that except, "I just have to do it". There is no choice,I have to make it work.

So as I  stood on the brink of hysteria while putting away the shopping, at the thought of it even being possible to be able to get through these 29 reports and also keep the house running, get to the appointments that are needed after hours and do it with even less support than I normally have for the next three weeks (as my parents take off on a holiday)  that exact same thought came into my consciousness. You Just Have TO.

Somehow it will work out. Somehow I will find the time to get these reports written. Somehow the kids will all have lunches in their school bags and clean uniforms on their tooshes. Somehow I will manage to cook dinner each night and fill the car with petrol and do the other ten thousand things that I find myself having to do during the week...because I have to.

And although all those people saying it to me claim that they could never do it, if walking in my shoes. I beg to differ. If you had no choice, you would...and you would even occasionally like it! ;)