What is that saying? 'The straw that broke the camels back' ...that's what it was that occured that day. It was the straw that broke me..us...it...the marriage. One year ago today.
Shaking, shivering, sobbing I rang my parents and they came straight over. I. Rang my best friends, I broke. I cried and sobbed and shook....all day.
Then I got up and made dinner and tried to sleep that night. The next day I went to work...working and running on adrenaline and little more than two hours sleep. Day by day by day the time passed. Step by step the time passed. Things got a little better, things changed...we changed for the better.
Freedom.
Today is one Year since that day. One year since the path to single mothering started and the recovery of the life that we had always deserved but never lived. One year since beginning to understand that love doesn't hurt and destroy...abuse does.
A year...it went by in the flash of an eye.
I so wished, on that day, that I could hit a fast forward button to take me one year ahead to a day I imagined when l'd have moved right past all of this. When it would all be over and I'd be living an incredibly happy life. Today, I might not quite be feeling that way, nor be living that life just yet...but there is always next year.
This time though, I'll avoid wishing for the fast forward button...there's too much growing to do through the pain. And the ceasing of the pain makes the joys of life so much more incredibly sweet. :)
OMG, has it really been a year? That went so fast. Congratulations on getting through those 365 days and growing in the process.
ReplyDeleteIt must have been (and probably still is) very difficult but hopefully as you say it will get easier and easier.
I am the worst blog friend ever coz I've hardly seen you this year in your year of recovery and forward movement. I'm going to fix that. From here on in you won't be able to get rid of me ... I'll be stalking you daily.
Gotta go. I've got some back reading to do.
Love and hugs
L
Well done on surviving and seeing the good and the joy. I hope that this next year has many more highs for you all.
ReplyDeleteSo very, very proud of you my friend. The dignity and strength you have shown in all you have faced this year, you are amazing. Never forget it.
ReplyDelete